I feel like a parent.
Some nights I lie in bed unable to sleep. Thinking about so many things. What we could add to the site, what we’re doing right, what we should be doing, what we should stop doing.
Sometimes I get a great idea, and suddenly I’m up at 2am writing down my thoughts and bringing its entire concept into this world. I draw out how it will look, how it’ll tie in with the rest of the features, and, most importantly, how I think it’ll help.
Other times I start forming paragraphs in my head for articles that don’t have titles yet. Stories which haven’t gained enough traction in my mind for me to start writing, but persist nonetheless. And then I’m up again, writing these thoughts down in case I fall asleep and lose them to my dreams.
Some nights I don’t even go to sleep at all, till it’s very very late. I spend my time looking at the stats on our Facebook page, numbers which Google analytics gives me, and the number of views, recommends, and comments our articles get. After a while I refresh the page, as if my doing so would encourage the numbers to jump. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. I feel happy nonetheless, a wanderer amidst this virtual landscape we’ve created.
Sometimes I go on a pilgrimage into the infrastructure of the site. I look at the lines and lines of variables, properties and syntax I’ve come to see as a completely different language. These characters are the building blocks of what we’ve created. The code – in more ways than one.
Mostly I see imperfections and make tweaks to the site which contribute all the more infinitesimally into making it as perfect as I can make it. A typo here, a broken link there. One starfish at a time I throw them back into the sea.
Is this what keeps all parents awake at night? Wondering, worrying, wishing for their children, their creations? Is it obsession, or is it passion?